Rhonda Herrington Bulmer
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November 26th, 2013
Waxing poetic at Christmas
by Rhonda Herrington Bulmer

It’s late November and the fall chrysanthemums in my blue ceramic plant stands outside are dead and gone. Time to replace them with cute four-foot spruce trees cut from Dad’s woodlot—it’s the suburban thing to do. (While I’m up at Dad’s, I’ll also collect a few boughs for the front door and a skinny birch tree, cut into six foot poles for sticking in a corner of my dining room. I will cover them with mini lights. City people pay $40 for a couple of birch poles at home décor stores. This is why country folk like my father think city people are stupid.)

It will not surprise any of my friends that this time of year makes me grouchy, particularly decorating, because it feels like a waste of time. I’m a superlative time-waster, but I would rather choose activities other than Christmas decorating.

It’s the lights…they’re just the worst.

And since I like to deal with my feelings by writing about them, you get to read a rotten poem.

This season, may your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases include untangled, working lights.

LED lights in the pot

Christmas lights

I find them twisted, curled, intertwined

Who stored them this way?

Okay, never mind.

The eternal struggle to unfurl begins

and once I win

I find that only half the lights twinkle herein.

“I just bought these last year!” I gripe

I try to calm myself down.

Remember the birth of the Saviour—don’t frown.

Whatever. Time to find a cheaper solution

Why not make one string out of two; sort of a fusion?

But they still don’t work (I express my regrets).

A grumpy drive to the store

The first snowfall is kinda nice, I guess.

Pay huge dollars for lights that will likely break by next year

Highway robbery, I say with a tear.

Straight home, unfurl and apply to the trees

Shoulders sink

They’re LEDs.



2 Responses to “Waxing poetic at Christmas”

  1. Karen says:

    I’ve been stocking up on the “old-fashioned” mini-lights when I see them at sale prices…not a big fan of LED’s…the brightness just isn’t there! I imagine I’ll eventually have to conform…

  2. Yolande says:

    Hahahahaha!!! Yeah, well, love your poem; really hits the spot. :) And you know that those big, blue flower pots are going to look amazing whatever you put in them!

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